Whenever we find fault with others, whether through anger, contemptuous
certainty, self-righteousness, or gossip, it is often based in fear. We may
not be aware of our fears, but when we look deeply, we may discover the fear
of rejection, loss of control, of unworthiness, or the fear of
disconnection. But refraining alone is not enough—by itself it is just
behavior modification—and it is neither healing nor transformative. Only
through uncovering and consciously entering into the deep hole inside,
welcoming the fear with curiosity and compassion, can we ultimately
reconnect with the basic wholeness of our true nature.
– Ezra Bayda, “Quotable: On Right Speech