Gossip can mean many things, from benignly shared information about someone
not present to false rumors insidiously spread, to idle chitchat about
someone’s personal life. The question to ask is: What is our motivation when
we talk about others? From a Buddhist perspective, the value of our speech
depends principally upon the motivation behind it.
When talking about others is motivated by thoughts of ill will, jealousy, or
attachment, conversations turn into gossip. These thoughts may seem to be
subconscious, but if we pay close attention to our mind we’ll be able to
catch them in the act. Many of these are thoughts that we don’t want to
acknowledge to ourselves, let alone to others, but my experience is that
when I become courageous enough to notice and admit them, I’m on my way to
letting them go. Also, there’s a certain humor to the illogical way that
these negative thoughts purport to bring us happiness. Learning to laugh at
our wrong ways of thinking can be therapeutic.
—Bhikshuni Thubten Chodron, from “The Truth About Gossip,” Tricycle, Summer
2006